Promotions, Thoughts & ETC “Oh no, not again!” 1 Man’s Pursuit to Loathe The whole lot

In my pretext as a professional self-employed writer who’s, at the present, producing his first full-length book (cheap plug!), I requested of my favorite client we diversify out somewhat from tech news/reviews and into more media, arts and leisure areas. He was accommodating and gracious enough to give the wacky idea a go and I set about cobbling together some film and song reviews.

This was when it hit me; I’ve no idea what’s hot, who’s doing it, or why I should care!

10 years ago, when I was a film student, I could have told you who the cinematographer was on even various obscure, little-seen indie film. Heck, I can probably have taken a guess about who delivered him his morning coffee during the shoot, but today I’m afraid I have no idea at all.

It is not totally my fault. Having graduated from University three years ago and moved out of my parent’s residence one year after that, my long-suffering girlfriend and I haven’t exactly been rolling in cash. I selected what I could by doing extra writing (and occasionally cleaning houses) and shopped a children’s book round the publishers (with lower than even a polite whiff of notice, it has to be said). She eventually landed a fairly good job and at the same time my fortunes enhanced somewhat, but modern culture passed us by while we were busy doing our weekly shopping with a calculator and developing one more hundred and fifty uses for tinned meat.

Its hilarious, I always wondered why my Dad’s record set totally ceases to increase further sometime inside the late 1970’s and does not pick up again until a tiny set of (franky terrible) ‘Trashed/Mashed/Bashed/Crashed (delete as applicable) in Ibiza’ CDs in the 90’s. Well, now I know. This is a gap inside the fossil record of pop culture; it’s, fundamentally, a record of the cash-induced cultural extinction incident that occurred at more-or-less exactly once he moved out with my Mum.

So, with that in mind, I made a decision to take a look at what was around at the moment by focusing on what was trending on Amazon, in the hopes that there might be something I could talk about with some authority.

Now, I don’t want this article to read like an appendix to ‘is it just me or is the lot shit?’ crossed with an episode of ‘Grumpy Old Men’ (even through I do know full-well that its gonna), but there isn’t a good deal of stuff that I can even connect to, much less get excited about.

For me, it’s a case of ‘seen it’ roughly every time. Sure, the films probably only come out last week, but I read the novel that motivated the screenplay when I used to be at Uni, or I saw the little known French film it had been according to at the same time as studying at college.

Oh, this band are somewhat like an updated version of (evoke holy name of the divine 70’s punk/New Wave act here), except for they lack the creation, the innovation and the expertise that made the originals great. In another occasion, I would have thoughts and opinions to express about the pop music of today, but now I can’t even name the celebrities in order to slag them off.

‘If you want that, you’ll love this!’ No, I won’t Amazon. And do not think I don’t see what you are attempting to do, you sneaky bastards…

Oh, this Television show is about a teenage vampire, well, that’s novel, especially bearing in mind that it wasn’t even original when ‘Twilight’ did it (Sheesh, it was not even unique when ‘Buffy’ was doing it).

Oh, this bestselling book series is fanfic determined by that other book? What? I’m sorry, WHAT!?

…Since when was ‘find/replace’ a lucrative model?

(Sigh) Since now, I suppose.

If there is a time to all this bitter and twisted ranting (and remember, I said ‘if), it’s that I’m getting old and that’s cheaper than therapy. If there’s an alternative, perhaps more salient point, its that you must probably scrape together a bit of cash, go check out Amazon’s latest hit lists and buy something, if only just to maintain from ending up like me. Here, I’ll even link it for you.

So, in the longer term, if my own (hypothetical) lad or daughter flicks through my CDs/DVDs and asks why the most recent albums are (shamefully) ‘Noctourniquet’ by The Mars Volta (2012) ‘Brothers’ by The Black Keys (2010), ‘Only Revolutions’ by Biffy Clyro (2009), & Q-Tip’s ‘The Renaissance’ (2008), I will just reminisce and say “you’ll see” and leave it at that.

You will see. Just see if you don’t.